|This is a friend who Yamid and I usually see once a week. She writes using calligraphy .|
|This is on a street after a billion black cats were set off. Pretty intense!|
|This is Yamid in the new Xi'an Subway.|
Living in a foreign country will test you and make you grow. Going through things that frustrate you and test your patience everyday is not fun, but it builds on the foundation that you hopefully already had. So for me this process has been good, I have seen change in my life. I don't see it clearly but I know it has happened. So I will give you a little personal background of who I am. Some see life through relationship, some see it through adventure and challenge, some see it through education and knowledge, and many other ways. I on the other hand, see a lot of life through numbers. I constantly think of the time, and how much time it would take to do something, or if I have enough time to do a specific thing with the time I have. I am late maybe once a year. I also do the same with money. I am careful with money, a gift I received from my father. I always look at what the outcome might be, which stops me from doing a lot things. A gift? maybe, a curse? maybe.
So recently I have been tested in the area of giving and trusting. Because I am living on just enough to eat and live, nothing else. So I need to be extra careful right? I can't afford to give to anything to anyone, because I barely have enough for myself. I am afraid I have missed something huge in how we are called to live. I can't be used as a blessing to others if I live with a death grip on the little I have. I believe if we open our hands and trust Him with the rest, He will do more than we could ever imagine. If we would live in the promise of His provision, He could do such amazing things through us. I believe we have been brought up in a society that teaches us to live using logic, and if it isn't logical don't do it. I believe logic is for this world, not for Kingdom living. If I used logic for all my decisions I sure wouldn't be where I am today. I believe logic cripples what He wants to do through us. It is our big security net, one of them at least. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about being financially irresponsible. I am talking about living in a way that shows that what we have is not ours, but His. Living a life of out pouring, more than just what we logically can, but pouring out what hurts so that others may live. When we choose to live with open hands, I believe that He will do amazing things through us. Not because of logic, but because of love. This is something that I have been growing in, I am a failure in this area. With His grace hopefully someday I can live fully abandoned to this world and the stuff that doesn't really matter. Thank you for reading. I challenge you to set logic aside and live with open hands. Live using kingdom logic.