Not Following Feelings, Feelings Following.

Hello everyone, i would put big money on that you are wondering what the heck this title means, or why i called it that. You will soon find out.  I have mentioned in the past that i have been going to an English corner once a week.  It has been amazing going to the corner, the relationships that have come out of it are priceless. This week I got really crazy and decided to attend another English corner at a university that is very close to the other one I go to.  This particular one was a little bit different in that it was outside and that there was roughly twelve students just listening and asking me questions.  That is a lot, and not everyone gets a turn to talk. Whether that would be because they don't feel confident in their English or that there is one or two Chinese that dominate the conversation because they have very good English.

 Getting to the title of this post.  The conversation got to why I am in China, why China.  I gave the usual answer of, I wanted to experience Chinese culture and visit my sister and whatever else.  I might have said feel a lot, like "I felt like it". I felt like coming, I felt like learning the language, I felt like traveling. This brought one guy to tell me that I do what I feel. Man did I want set him strait. Him saying this made me think on that, do I really follow my feelings a lot?  I really could say that everyday i follow my feelings less and less. Some maybe are thinking why wouldn't you follow your feelings. I would tell you that my heart or feelings are deceiving above all else. We must not give power to our feelings.  If we all did what we felt, where would we be today?  I really don't feel like staying in China, I don't feel like learning a language that is more stretching than you can know, I don't feel like leaving my family, whom I miss dearly.   We must be driven by a far greater cause than our feelings.  We must be driven by love.  Love doesn't give up when you feel like quiting, It serves when you don't feel like it, Love waits when your inpatient, Love gives when you want to keep, Love listens when you don't feel like it.  Love overcomes when you give up.  Love provides when you don't feel like you can. The list goes on and on.

 I was challenged when this man said this to me "so you do what you feel", challenged to take a look at my life  and really examine how often I do what i feel and not what I should.  Our feelings are majority selfish. I know there are some out there that would argue this point. But if we are honest with ourselves we would agree.  If Matt and heather did what they felt they wouldn't have taken their foster daughter Lilly in. My mom and dad wouldn't have adopted two beautiful twin babies after having ten children of their own. I am using these examples because they are real and close to me. I know the more i choose love and put my feelings in the back seat the better off I will be. I know it is a very hard thing to do, I would challenge you to look at your lives as well, and see where your being held back from the good you could be doing because of your feelings.  Thats all, sorry this didn't have very many good stories. I struggle with detail, so I am not good at telling stories. Thank you for taking the time to read this, even though you might not have felt like it. ;)