Counting the Cost

Hello everyone, right off the bat I just want to tell you that I am not totally sure where this will go. I am sure in the end it will end up as one cohesive thought, I hope at least. I recently have been staying at a friends apartment, with the duty of watching their dog.  I have been here for one week so far, with no exciting stories to tell you.  It actually has been a boring week. All I do is take the dog out three or four times a day, and go out to eat. So I am kind of like an elderly person living a simple life. Anyways, I have been reading the story of a famous person who gave up everything for the people that he loved.  I am sorry, that is all the detail I will share. I am going to share some thoughts with you based on his story.

I grew up in a family who taught me a lot about love and family, and what the most important things in life are, which aren't things at all.  Growing up I was not aware of how much I would have to be willing to sacrifice to live the life that I knew I was supposed to live. I am not saying I have sacrificed anything, besides some basic luxuries. In my life I know what the most important things are to me.  The true question is, am I willing to completely surrender that part of my life. That is the question we all should ask ourselves. Most of us have things, or people in our lives that we would not be willing to give up.  It is completely understandable and normal.  When will the cause go beyond the things we aren't willing to give up, the things that make us feel comfortable in our little bubble.  When is the cause worth the cost.

The man in the book that I read was a world class athlete. He was the best in the world at the track event he did. He was the most famous man in Scotland, the country where he was from.  He could have done anything, but instead he chose to follow his calling. His calling was not a modern day walk in the park. He lived in the foreign country which he was called to for a few years before he got married and had children.  Soon after his second child was born, the Japanese, who were currently at war with the country he was in, bombed Pearl Harbor. This event made if very dangerous to be in the country he was in, because of the growing hostility the Japanese had towards foreigners.  He had already been living away from his wife and kids, in another little town, for a couple of years.  He sacrificed everything for the cause he believed in. His wife was pregnant with their third child, when he decided it was to dangerous for his family to stay there. He sent her back to her home in Canada, until he could meet her there.  He said good bye to his two little daughters and wife, holding back the tears, not knowing if he would ever see them again. I truthfully can't imagine the pain of doing something like that, and I don't even have children.  He could have thrown in the towel, which would have been the natural thing to do, but instead he persevered through the storm for the goal.   He later was put in a Japanese internment camp, where he lived for 2 years, spreading the love he had in his heart with the other people in the camp.  He died abruptly, never seeing his third daughter or his other two daughters and wife again.  To this man, his sacrifice was worth the cause.

I am not saying this is everyone's calling. Not at all, I am saying that we must be willing to sacrifice for what we believe.  We must look at our lives and know that following Him is not easy.  He promised we would be hated, like foreigners to a land not our own. I need to understand what it might take to carry out the calling.  I must understand it will be hard, it will be war.  I must release my death grip on the comforts that I take for granted.  Unless I release my grip, He won't be able to use me in the way He wants.  Unless I understand the cost and surrender all I am to Him, I have not given my whole self to Him. He doesn't want a piece of our lives, He wants every little bit.  After reading that book I felt like I wasn't doing anything worth while, but that isn't true. I understand it is a journey. This book opened my eyes a little bit to truth of how hard the journey might be. I encourage everyone to take a look at your life, and ask, what am I holding on to that I won't give up. Thank you for reading. Until next time.

Sunshine Camp, Part 2

Now back to the story.  The training had started Wednesday morning and it was now Friday afternoon.  The students started arriving by the bus load from all over China. These students are the best of the best.  They were the top students from the best universities in China. And let me tell you there are a lot of students in China.  I helped some girls load there luggage up twelve flights of stairs, a few too many times. For an in shape person it would have been nothing, for me it was a marathon.  I then went to my room and met the three guys who I would live with for the next seven days; Stone, Kevin, and Paul. I was privileged enough to give Paul his English name. I have trouble remembering English names, Chinese names are a whole other story. His Chinese name is Pei Hoa, pronounced pay how. I was glad to give him my fathers' name.  Another thing that made me really happy was that all the guys in my group were from schools in Xi'an. So after the camp got over I would be able to continue our friendships.   Therefore the camp started out really good. Because the biggest reason I was there was to create relationships that would last. I wanted to influence people with love, and a different way of living, that they probably were not used to. 

From left to right: Paul, Sonny, Me, Stone, Kevin, and Tang Pan.  Awesome group of guys.

I will do my best to shorten this down, because there are so many fun stories I could tell.  The schedule was this; wake up at 7:20 breakfast at 8:00, 9 o'clock morning rally, then lecture and group discussion, then lunch at 12:30. 1:00 to 2:15 ping pong. That was a necessity. At 2:30 we had to be back for afternoon activities, they went until 5:00. Dinner was at 6, after dinner we had to be back in the meeting room at seven. We were usually done by 9:30. We went to bed anywhere from 11 to 12.  I take that back. I went to bed then, the Chinese students went to bed at 1-2 in the morning. They are so crazy. I did that for seven days straight. By the end I was terribly exhausted.

This was my Life Group. 

Some of the major highlights were seeing these students who have never truly opened up to someone in their lives open up to each other.  It is truly amazing to see people being vulnerable, so that other people can better understand the person underneath the mask.  The things we went over in the camp, like living with integrity, love, humbleness, leading with a servant heart and other basic things, were new ways to live for most of them.  The games we played were very basic, but they fell in love with them.  We sang the "hey macarena" song, and all 220 students plus danced to it. Don’t get me wrong, it was a ton of fun, but mostly because they were having so much fun. It was amazing just to see these students break out of their shell for the first time. The whole thing was incredible.  The most amazing thing though was to see how many students told me that they had never seen love like this before in their lives.  Almost all the guys in my group told me that their minds were changed in some way. That is a big step.

Carnival night, this was a booth where you could model newspaper clothing. Pretty awesome!

People left the camp in a flurry, I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone I wanted to, but I guess that is life.  I got home to where I live in Xi'an Saturday afternoon, exhausted and tired.  In the end the camp was everything I expected and more.  It is hard to put it into words. It was such a beautiful thing. When new life comes, new joy and new hope, it is tough to describe it with words. All I can say is that the people who started the Sunshine Camps are making an amazing difference in the lives of many.  Thank you so much for reading. Until next time.

Sunshine Camp 2011, Part 1

Hey everyone!  I am still really tired from the last ten days that I was attending an international camp in Xi'an.  I need to write this post before I forget the interesting details. I hope you are all doing good. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I will break it down into two posts, possibly three. 

So I heard about this Sunshine Camp from a good friend about two or so months before it started.  He said it was so amazing and I had better volunteer to help with it. So I said I would.  I started to fill the application out and soon realized it would cost $200.  Not usually a problem, but right now I have been really low on money. I knew in my mind that it would be worth it, even though I was a little uneasy.  A little later some really amazing people told me they would pay for the camp. Because they understood what an impact it would have on me and on others. Going into it I had some expectations but nothing too huge. I was trying to hope for the best and expect the worst. 

The morning of the 13th, Andrea, a friend of mine here, and I set out for the camp with high hopes and bubbling excitement, well that was true for me at least.  It took us a little while to get a taxi, but not to the point where we were throwing luggage at the taxi's, just kidding we don't ever do that.  So before I go on you need to know that both Andrea and I don't have killer Chinese, hers is better than mine, but it is still very difficult to communicate an uncommon destination to an unassuming taxi driver.   So she tells the driver where we want to go and he nods his head like he knows.  We soon figured out that he had no clue where he was going. Long story short he stopped about five times to ask for directions and stopped at two wrong universities.  Finally we made it after about an hour of confusion. To look at the bright side it could have been worse, much worse.

When I got my name card it said Camper on it.  I had specifically applied to be a coach or counselor, not cool.  I found out later that day that if you're American you have to have graduated college to be a coach. At first I was disappointed about it, but later on I found out that being a coach had a ton of responsibility and not a ton of benefit. Being a student I got to hang out with the Chinese students way more.

So then I had two and a half days before the camp started to do nothing, because I had come early for training to be a coach.  But I got to play ping pong with the top ping pong player at the university we were at. He randomly came up to me and asked if he could play ping pong with me.  It was a lot of fun. He ended up letting me use an extra fan he had, which was such a blessing, because it was so hot in the dorms.

This is the dorm that I lived in for the whole camp. 

This is Nai Fan,  my ping pong friend. He was killer! 

This was the view of the little town from my dorm room. 

This is my friend Rambo and I! 

I will post the rest of the story in a few days time. Thanks for checking in everybody. I know I am not a good writer, but thanks for supporting me none the less. Until next time.

Love in the Details

Hello again, thanks for dropping in.  It has been over a month since my last post. Life has continued uninterrupted of anything out of the ordinary. You are maybe wondering why I am posting if I don't have any awesome stories of adventure and trial or laughter and joy. Well I hope this opens some eyes to the beauty that they have been missing.  I know I more often than not miss it.


When living in China it is so easy to try to focus on the big picture. Focus on what I will have accomplished in 3 or 5 years down the road. To live a step ahead of the present. Eyes always on the horizon.  I usually live this way, always looking across the fence.  Well today I am going to tell you what matters most in our lives, at least in my tiny perspective.


I go to school everyday for 3 hours. I take the exact same route everyday. I come in contact with almost the same people everyday, for the most part. Really not to exciting. Don't get me wrong learning Chinese has been amazing in a lot of ways. But when I look back at what I have done since coming to China, it hasn't been that much. In my tiny perspective. Flash back, when i was doing a leadership school in Denver in 2009, one of our last speakers spoke on attitude and living in the moment. It quite frankly rocked my world. Because I always was living in the future. If this happens then I will be able to do this, if only I was in China then I could really make a difference.  If only I was married then life would be so much better, haha.  Your getting the picture.  This truthfully is a poisonous way to live your life. Focusing on the future worried about what could be.  I am not saying being responsible in planning is bad. I am saying 'living' in the future is.


 If we don't live our lives in the present we miss everything. You miss out on all that the Father wants to teach you, maybe through a difficult time or through a hidden blessing. You miss out on all the amazing relationships around you.  You miss out on loving people that are alone and lost. You miss out on helping a neighbor on a rainy day. You miss out on giving something to people that they might not have. You miss out on showing a love that people rarely see. We must stop worrying about the future and live our lives in the gift of today.


Throughout my day to day life I could have the perspective of all the details are pretty meaningless. Or I could live in a way that shared love whenever I had the chance. I could show love to my teachers by telling them how much it means to me what they do. I could show them that what they do is significant. I could love the students I teach even if they misbehave to the point where I want to yell. I could smile at the person that blares his horn at me everyday. I could try to start a conversation with the store clerk, ask him how his day has been. Even though my Chinese is horrible. I need to show love in the details. The father I believe is often concerned with the things that we pass by everyday and don't think about them for one second.  He is concerned with the little things in life. The more I can live in a way that is patient enough not to miss the details the more He can use me in ways I would have never Imagined or dreamed.


It's the little things that matter in life friends. The things that we so often pass by without a second glance or thought. It's the relationships that we so often look past.  The chances to love that are all around us if we would open the eyes of our heart. If we would slow down and try to see how He sees.  I don't want to live my life worrying about what I could be doing, when there are chances to show love all around me. I need to work on this just as much as anyone else. This post was inspired by my buddy Jia Ming.  He sent me a text this morning that read "It's not about the great things we do, but the small things with great love". Thanks Jia Ming. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I hope it helps you slow down for a second and see the beauty around you. 

Unworldly Perspective and Thankfulness

Hello again, I hope everyone is having a spectacular week. For those who aren't, stay strong.  Time has really flown by since I have arrived in China. I feel like no matter how hard you try you just can't ever get it to slow down. Enjoy the journey friends. The important stuff is always in the little things we to often look over.

Growing up I was told so often to be thankful for what I had.  That there is starving children all around the world with no place to call home. No parents to love on them.  I never really bought into it. I acted like I did. I tried my best to believe it and out of that belief live a life of thankfulness.  We all know it is easier said than done.  The older I got the easier it was to appreciate everything I had. From amazing parents to to the shoes on my feet.  It's one thing to appreciate the things we have but it is another to live a life that flows from the thankfulness in our hearts.  I have realized more and more through living and growing that thankfulness is so much more than speaking it out.  When one is truly thankful for everything he has been blessed with it comes out in actions.  Who among us can't talk the talk? There isn't any value in speaking out that we are thankful unless our lives and day to day actions don't concrete our words.  I have more room than you know to grow in this area.  Thank God I have parents that did their best to show me what it looks like to live a life of giving and outpouring into others what you have been given.

I have been teaching for the last month.  I didn't realize how much of a challenge teaching was until I did it myself.  I teach small classes of kids from the age of 4 to 6 a couple times a week.  The kids, most the time, don't behave super well. It is very tasking to try to hold their attention for a half an hour. Especially at seven in the evening.  I have had a super bad attitude about this particular opportunity.  For selfish reason's only. I don't like teaching, it's too hard, it stresses me out, I am not cut out for it.  I am going to throw some truth at myself real quick.  If I was to sit down with my Dad and tell him all my complaints I am pretty sure he would greatly help me with my perspective and attitude on the situation.  He would tell me that I am blessed to have this opportunity, that growth doesn't come unless we are stretched outside our comfort level, that i have a chance to show these kids love. That for me to overlook it would be a huge mistake. I have learned that the hard way.

If we could change our attitude from ungratefulness to thankfulness we would see life in a whole different light.  When we are thankful for what we have it opens us up to be able to give back what has been given to us.  We have to allow blessing to flow through us.  As humans it isn't super natural to want to give. We have a selfishness in us. Just admit it, we all have it.  When we overcome that through a strength not our own. Our eyes can be open to what life really is about, giving back what you think you deserve.  It's not easy. I sure havn't even come close to understanding it or living it.  My parents have showed me the value in living in thankfulness and giving.  When we live for other's we grow in ways we don't even see.  We bless people with out knowing that it might have changed their life forever.

Living with Matt and Heather has been such a blessing for me, in ways i don't always see. It has given me the opportunity to serve in ways I don't feel like. To build relationship when it's not easy. It has shown me that it is never easy but always worth it.  Seeing how they have changed Lilly's life.  Not because they thought they had the time, energy, or money to do it. But because they chose to live life outpouring what they have to bless and help others who can't help themselves.  This is the picture that I want and need to follow for my life.  Giving when it hurts, loving when it's not easy, being thankful when you have nothing. Because life isn't about us. It never was, it never will be. The sooner I can live that out the more blessed I and others around me will be.

The more we can live life with the perspective that this life is too short. Every second needs to be treasured. Love those around you like today's your last. Give to others out of the love you have for them. Use every trial in your life to grow in perspective and truth.  Don't stop, the value isn't in what you can see with your eyes.

One last story to wrap it up.  I go to school with my friend Jia Ming who is Colombian.  His life has inspired and challenged me in a lot of ways.  Just last night Jia Ming, Jenna, another friend of mine, and I were at Mcdonalds downtown. What started as a joke turned out to be a blessing.  Because of Jia Ming's perspective and attitude.  It was ten thirty or so at night. There was a guy sleeping in a booth. I thought it was a little amusing. So i told Jia Ming, who is very crazy in his own way, to go over and sit with him. So sure enough he grabbed a used tray and put some empty coffee cups on it and went over to sit with the sleeping stranger.  I was a little worried at this point, because Chinese people sometimes have an explosive temper. This guy wakes up looking really mad. He walks away from the booth and goes and grabs some food off another table. Then he comes back and sits in the booth behind Jia Ming. Then Jia Ming taps this guy on the shoulder. Now I am pretty worried that this guy is going to give him broken nose. Jia Ming talks to him, in Chinese. Jia Ming then heads downstairs to the ordering counter and this guy follows him. I have no idea whats going on. So we wait for a few minutes and then head downstairs. We find Jia Ming ordering this guy a meal.  It might not seem like much, but i guarantee you it blessed this guy way more than we knew.  Jia Ming gives everything he has back to others who have done nothing for him. That is the way I want to live my life.  It's the way we all should live our lives. Blessing others whenever we can, even when they don't deserve it. Well that is all I have for now. I hope you got something out of this. I know I have.  Thanks for reading!